


No More Regrets

by kc_evans



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: A little introspective, F/M, Fluff, confronting the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4083967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kc_evans/pseuds/kc_evans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn gives Cullen a reason not to grieve his past any longer. A brief conversation of how his past has impacted the present and their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More Regrets

Evelyn barged into his office without warning, slamming the door open so wide and fast it hit the wall and rattled with the force. Cullen looked up, startled at the dramatic entrance. “Wha-?”

Before he could even finish, Evelyn interrupted him as she approached the desk. Her chest heaved as if she had run around the Frostback Mountains before coming to see him, and her eyes glittered brightly. “Don’t ever say you regret your past ever again,” she said between breaths.

Cullen set down the report he was reading to focus his entire attention on the Inquisitor, vaguely alarmed at her incoherence. “I don’t understand,” he began.

Evelyn advanced towards him slowly, her steps deliberate and slow in contrast to her rapid breaths. The dark of her eyes stared intensely at him, as if the force of her gaze alone could induce compliance. “I don’t want to ever hear you say you regret your past actions again.”

Her voice shook just the slightest bit and as Evelyn drew closer, Cullen realized the brightness of her eyes were really unshed tears that reflected the candlelight of his office. “Why?” he asked quietly, resting his hand on the pommel of his sword. The familiar grip of his sword helped him focus on Evelyn’s words and her unusual behavior. Something had happened between the evening meal and now, something that shook her deeply.

Evelyn halted only a few feet away, separated from him only by his desk. She held his gaze even as a tear slipped free from her right eye and plummeted down her cheek. “I was talking to Sera,” she began, not bothering to wipe the water track away, “and she pointed something out to me.”

“Sera did?” Cullen repeated, wincing at the hint of disbelief in his voice that he tried to hide. He didn’t think Sera was stupid, but any time he spoke with the elf, she seemed to make fun of him. He couldn't imagine her talk about an issue serious enough to make the normally unflappable Inquisitor cry.

But Evelyn didn’t seem to notice. “Yes, Sera. She said - she said …” Here, she took a deep breath and let it out in a slow, shaky whoosh. The movement seemed to calm her and Evelyn continued on. “She said that if you hadn’t gone through what you did at Kinloch Hold, if you hadn’t been sent to Kirkwall and been noticed by Meredith, if you hadn’t been promoted to Knight-Captain and stood against your Commander, then Cassandra may have never noticed you. If she never saw your potential as you tried to protect Kirkwall, you would have never been asked to join the Inquisition. And then … we would have never met.” She leaned forward, slamming her hands on her desk, all at once seemingly angry and no longer teary. “So don’t ever say again that you regret what happened in your past, unless you mean to say that you’re not happy to have met me!”

Cullen tried to follow Evelyn’s logic but it was almost like trying to understand the way a darkspawn thought. “I - what? I don’t regret meeting you, of course. But what’s this all about?”

Suddenly, Evelyn looked weary and Cullen strode around the desk to wrap his arms around her. His armor had to be uncomfortable to lean against but she pressed her cheek against his chest. “I thought about what you said last week, that you regretted your thoughts and actions against mages. But don’t you see, Cullen? If you hadn’t gone through all that, we may have never met. You might have never been promoted to Knight-Captain so quickly, never caught Cassandra’s interest as the Commander of the Inquisition forces, and we would be countries apart. I don’t think I could bear that. So please, don’t hate your past. It’s made you who you are today.”

Hearing the tears back in her voice, Cullen only tightened his hold on her. “What a thing to get worked up about,” he said with exasperated affection. He made a mental note to talk to Sera about getting Evelyn so upset over nothing. “I’m simply glad I’m a better man than I was ten years ago. I only wish I had been more open-minded of mages during my years in Kirkwall. It frightens me that I could have thought of you as a threat instead of the woman I love.”

Evelyn lifted her head up to meet his gaze again. “All the same, you can’t regret it.”

That same intensity from before sprang back to life in her eyes and Cullen cupped her cheek gently, stroking the soft skin and brushing back the stray hair from her face. “You’re right,” he said at last. “My past has made me who I am, and if all of it happening meant I would get to meet you, every single painful memory is worth it.”

Her lips parted in surprise at his words, eyes searching his face to gauge his sincerity. And then Evelyn threw her arms around him, nearly knocking him onto his desk from the force. “I love you, Cullen,” she whispered, burying her face in his neck.

Cullen savored the warm breath feathering on his skin, the heat of her body, the solid thump of her heartbeat. “And I you,” he replied quietly. He didn’t know how long they stood like that, simply content to bask in one another’s presence.

Until Cullen suddenly realized something. He leaned back to look at Evelyn, eyes narrowed. “How does Sera know about what happened in Kinloch Hold?”

At the question, Evelyn’s eyes darted to the side. “Um,” she said.

Cullen groaned. The last thing he needed was for Sera to have more ammunition against him. “And how many other people did you tell?”

“No one else,” she said quickly. Then, pursing her lips in thought, she added, “Well, no one unimportant.”

He sighed. That probably meant all her companions heard which meant half of Skyhold knew by now. Cullen disliked having his sordid past known to so many people, but he also knew none of it was really a secret. Any entrepreneuring spirit could find out exactly what happened to him.

As if sensing his unhappiness, Evelyn gave him a little squeeze and a slight smile. “No more regrets though, right?”

Cullen stared down at the face he had come to adore and he realized he couldn’t be too angry with her. “No more regrets,” he agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr.


End file.
